I work in the IT field and have for 20+ years. I am used to things going wrong and taking the position that if it breaks then I will find a way to fix it. I deal with custom written software and have a great trust in my ability to fix whatever may go wrong there. I can not say the same for hardware and purchased software.

Despite frustration with when things go wrong I love new toys and this weekend had the experience of setting up and playing with my new iPhone. I am going from no internet access on a phone to the Cadillac version. There were only a few snarls, such as setting up my email which I hacked away at for a great part of the weekend and finally, after deleting and starting over, got it to work last night.

I tell people that one of my greatest strengths is that I am stubborn and do not let something go until I have solved it. This is a strength but also a weakness in that it induces stress when things are not working. Its not uncommon for me and my friends to say “I hate computers” when in fact we obviously love them.
When the technology is working everything is right with the world. When it is not, the sense of frustration can become almost overpowering. I realize that a lot of people have learned to walk away but for me, I hang in there until there is a solution and so bring on a lot more frustration that is probably unnecessary.

And sometimes it is the littlest things that I can not let go of. When I ordered my iPhone I ordered a clear protective cover which I put on as soon as I receive t. It fits perfectly, so perfectly that I can not get it off. So, I began to notice that there were blotches under the cover, either condensation or some kind of smear on the back of the cover or the phone itself. This was bothering me, and all I wanted to do was get the cover off so I could clean it. But, the cover wouldn’t come off. So I tried to ignore it and turn on the phone and try all of the wonderful things it would do.

So, I have been setting up my phone for two days and all I have left is to finish my contact list and I love it except for these horrible blotches. I’m sitting at my computer updating my address book when three fire trucks come roaring up my street and I jump up to see what is going on and drop the phone on the floor, pulling the USB cable out with it.

So, now I’m a little concerned about my new phone but somehow the blotches are gone.

Technology is after all a tool that is meant to be used; however, I find that I am often annoyed by relatively simple technological problems. My annoyance seems to come from the feeling that my personal experience is being disrupted by these incidents. I want my experience to be simpler, cleaner, crisper and do not have a good way of handling the disruptions without annoyance.

I believe this is a reflection of what is going on on a larger level. There is a lot of static in our experience. We have a lot of wonderful gadgets that make life interesting and fun but when they break down we somehow feel diminished.

Technology represents the best and the worst of times.

And, Technology also seems to be somehow related to our concept of time because it can be a time saver, a time waster or something that consumes much more time than anyone ever anticipated.

I have to write this. I am feeling more and more that I must say what I believe politically.

Yesterday, as I watched the tributes to Sen. Ted Kennedy I wondered why it had fallen out of fashion to be political or patriotic, especially for those of us on the left. Why has the word liberal become a curse? As I listened to the tributes to Sen. Kennedy it strengthened my resolve to say what I believe and to do what I can.

Today Arianna Huffington wrote about the spirit that died with Kennedy, the spirit to help the less fortunate and the least among us:

Ted Kennedy and the Missing National Conversation

Being a liberal is not about spending other people’s money, it’s about taking care of other people. Here’s another quote from Ted Kennedy:

During my service in the United States Senate, I have often been called a Liberal, and it usually was not meant as a compliment. But I remember what my brother said about liberalism shortly before he was elected president. He said: “If by a Liberal, they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind… Someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions… Someone who cares about the welfare of the people—their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, their civil liberties…Someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and the suspicion that grips us… If that is what they mean by a Liberal… Then I am proud to say I am a Liberal.”

Finally, in a day of tributes, this is the one I heard on the radio as I was falling asleep from one of my favorite Air America hosts, Nichole Sandler.

click here

Rest in Peace, Senator Kennedy, may we, as a country have the courage to continue the work that you have just begun.

Its been months since I’ve written here. I recently changed my email address to use my own domain name and realized that some folk may say, hmmm, veraholly.com, what is that? So I felt obliged to write something current before spreading the email address around to friends. But, one can not remain without a known email address indefinitely.

Webpages are processes. They are never finished. Sometimes the evolution is temporarily halted but inevitably, in my experience, it begins again.

I began my blog because I wanted to explore ideas. I was not interested in dwelling on the details of my actual life. It is ideas that move me.

Recently I have been talking with friends about my unwillingness to put myself ‘out there’ because the ideas that I support may differ from the image that I believe that people that know me personally may have of me. This is a result of a long-time habit of revealing my deepest thoughts only to the people that I believed would be receptive to them.

It seems that in the past month the anger that is publicly expressed has been ratcheted up. The health care debate has become the issue that has caused much resentment and frustration to boil over. When I look at the faces of people (particularly older people) on TV who are so angrily protesting something that may be in their best interest I feel a deep sorrow. It is very sad to me that we, as a society, can not act with compassion and find a way to give the people that need the help the most the help they need. I am definitely for health care for all people. I do not know how this can be accomplished but I know that when one person in a society is lacking the entire society is lacking.

Some of my friends feel the same way as these people on TV.
I keep thinking “why can’t we have a civil discussion?”

It almost feels irrelevant to me right now that I would feel so motivated to hide my beliefs from those around me. I don’t want to yell them or argue about them. I simply want to be respected. But, I am sensing that this may not always be possible.

I do not have the power to change another person. The only influence I can have is to put myself out there and if it resonates then perhaps there has been influence. More important than having influence, I think, is to facilitate discussion.
In order to have the civil discussion that I want I must respect those that I do not agree with. This is sometimes a very hard pill to swallow but it’s the only thing that will bring the change that I want.

No one has the right to force their ideas on others. The divisions among people seem to be becoming more pronounced. In the past this may have caused me to retreat further from everybody whose ideas I did not agree with. In a very strange way, as the discussion gets more heated I feel that this response is no longer appropriate. Collectively, we need to find a synthesis that is acceptable. That means all voices need to be heard.